My "New Normal"

I think I am finally coming to terms with my "new normal."  When I make this statement my mind screams at me.  Settling for a new normal admits defeat in my mind, and to be honest with you I am not ready to let go of my old life, even though I know I can never have it back.  I know I will live with these tumors and this horrible pain for the rest of my life but I don't want to acknowledge it.  I wish I could do something to take them away but I can't.  All I can do is try to live my life to the best of my ability and pray for a miracle.  Of course this mindset depends on the day too as the rollercoaster of emotions continues.  Some days I am accepting of this lot in life and other days I question it all.  Some days I am compliant, putting one foot in front of the other, and other days I am throwing a tantrum, kicking and screaming like a toddler who's had their toy taken away.

Viva la Birthday

I must say that both my boys have been such an inspiration to me this week.  I have started a challenge to help me lose weight and Eric has been an awesome motivator.  I am listening to my body and cannot do even an quarter of what the other women are but this round I am focusing more on what I'm eating and my mindset anyway.  Plus I figure any extra movement I'm doing is better than the nothing I've been doing and I'm getting time with my son, so it's a win-win.

Dylan has been my creative inspiration and I am happy to report that I actually have a card to show off!  He wanted to make a card for his cousin for his 12th birthday but then inspiration struck and Mom took over.

Easter Joy

I love Easter.  Being a Christian, there is the obvious reason of my Lord and Savior dying on the cross for my sins (the eternal hope: something I will never be able to be thankful enough for) but there is also the Easter egg hunts and family time.

With the boys being older, and me sharing them with their dad, Easter isn't what it used to be.  I think Dylan picked up on my sadness because he begged me Friday afternoon to help him stamp his first card.  Since I had new Verve Stamps to play with, and I have been in dire need of mojo lately, I thought it would be perfect.  Mother/son bonding and stamping while talking about what Easter is truly about is exactly what I needed.

A Birthday and a Reunion

This past Sunday was a pretty special day.  Eric turned 13.  I have a teenager.  No matter how many times I say it I still cannot believe it.  I don't feel old enough to have a teenager!

Both of Us

August 1st will be two years since Dylan was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  Since Dylan's diagnosis we have adjusted and settled into our comfortable routines, and the fact that Dylan is diabetic is just another element that makes our family unique.  Checking blood sugar and giving insulin is a family habit, like brushing our teeth.  What's crazy is when I go out to eat anywhere without Dylan I am instantly reaching for my phone to check carbs on MyFitnessPal and I always seem to check my watch at 8:58pm no matter where I'm at and what I'm doing (9pm is when Dylan takes his long-acting insulin every night).  These are habits I don't think I'll ever break.

At our last three month check up Dylan's pediatric endocrinologist warned us that Dylan's blood sugar was going to be inconsistent since he is entering puberty.  So, I have been trying to more closely monitor his blood sugar and adjust accordingly.  I brace myself when he tells me his reading, wondering if we're going to be fighting to bring the number up or down.  Dylan's target blood sugar is between 80-150.  Lately he's been dipping down below 60 and some days can go as a high as 400 and it varies from meal to meal, up and down like a diabetic rollercoaster.

Thinking of You with Sympathy

I woke up Monday morning all ready to tell you guys about my continued struggles with my #lifewithtumors and #lifewithteenagers.  I'm enjoying giving you a glimpse into my crazy, messy life.  It's therapeutic and for the first time in forever I look forward to Monday's!

If you live in the Texas you know how the weather can change on a dime.  It'll be sunshine, not a cloud in the sky, and out of the blue dark threatening clouds roll in, there's a tornado warning, and you're running to your safe place, body shivering in anticipation because you don't know what power this storm is going to bring with it.  Well, life has those kinds of storms that come out of the blue too that leave you shaken to your core.

Valentine Depression

This past week has been rough.  With the news I received last Monday hitting me like it did it's been hard to fight the depression that was already creeping up inside me.  Since I've been sick I've tried to be strong but this blow was so hard that I feel like all of my strength is gone.  I don't want to fight anymore.

Louie is not a Valentine's guy.  He doesn't feel like you have to have a holiday to show someone that you love them, so normally on February 14th I do not get my hopes up.  This year he surprised me with two things that are so cliche but so thoughtful.