Just My Thoughts Thursday

I want to get better about posting on here so I thought I might have a weekly thing and the first thing that popped into my mind was JUST MY THOUGHTS THURSDAY!!

I am a dreamer and I am always catching my mind going to the craziest things.  Today it snowed and actually stuck around for awhile and for the south that is a rarity.  As I'm driving to work this morning my heart is filled with sadness.  I have been struggling the past few weeks with discontentment in my life and as the snow flurries are cascading across my windshield the thoughts are flurrying in my mind.  So, here are my random thoughts for today...

Why am I working so hard?  What am I trying to accomplish?  


I know that we are trying to get out of debt but I feel like I am missing out on so much working 50+ hours a week.  I started the Flavia challenge and haven't worked out since the beginning.  How am I supposed to win this thing if I can't even work out!  I have been trying to focus more on my food but I've been stressed and when I stress all I want is chocolate.  It sucks and its sad but its the truth and I just want to be real.

Yesterday I hit the highest I've been in 7 years: 173lbs  I cannot believe I've let myself get back here.  I get up in the morning and rush to get ready to get out the door.  I work with only one break through the day and am off and home 12-14 hours later and only have enough time to get a quick (usually un-healthy) bite to eat, get my kiddos showered and in bed, and then I pass out and do it all over again.  The weekends I've been so overworked that I sleep most of the time and spend the rest of the time doing dishes, laundry, and everything I neglected during the week.

I can't keep living like this.  Something has to give.  I've tried talking to my boss but the words fall on deaf ears.  I think its time to really put more thought into my thoughts and figure out why I am working so hard.  Is it really worth it?  It's not like my job is even my passion.  It's so not.  It's a paycheck.  That's all.

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Those are just a few of my thoughts this week.  It also doesn't help that I've been sick all week and am extremely emotional.  Maybe when I'm feeling better I can find a better balance but as I see things I am working way too much and neglecting everything that is important to me and something definitely needs to change.
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