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Both of Us

August 1st will be two years since Dylan was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  Since Dylan's diagnosis we have adjusted and settled into our comfortable routines, and the fact that Dylan is diabetic is just another element that makes our family unique.  Checking blood sugar and giving insulin is a family habit, like brushing our teeth.  What's crazy is when I go out to eat anywhere without Dylan I am instantly reaching for my phone to check carbs on MyFitnessPal and I always seem to check my watch at 8:58pm no matter where I'm at and what I'm doing (9pm is when Dylan takes his long-acting insulin every night).  These are habits I don't think I'll ever break.

At our last three month check up Dylan's pediatric endocrinologist warned us that Dylan's blood sugar was going to be inconsistent since he is entering puberty.  So, I have been trying to more closely monitor his blood sugar and adjust accordingly.  I brace myself when he tells me his reading, wondering if we're going to be fighting to bring the number up or down.  Dylan's target blood sugar is between 80-150.  Lately he's been dipping down below 60 and some days can go as a high as 400 and it varies from meal to meal, up and down like a diabetic rollercoaster.

Yesterday morning he woke up incredibly pale and told me he wasn't feeling good.  He said his stomach hurt and that his mouth felt really dry, which are bad signs.  When we checked his blood sugar it was over 500!  Inside I am totally freaking out (it's never been this high before) but on the outside I calmly told him to get back into his pajamas, drink a glass of water, take a correction dose of insulin, and to settle in because him and mama were going to have a sick day today.  When he's hyperglycemic, and you can't bring him down, he could go into a diabetic coma, which is one of my biggest fears.  

Dealing with Dylan's diabetes as well as my nearly constant migraines (we're going on three weeks with little/no relief), tremors, and numbness due to my tumors is daunting.  I've started doing this thing that can only be described as a buzzing in my head.  I feel like there are bees or something buzzing in my head and when I start feeling this way I can't think straight.  Luckily it starts slowly so I can brace myself and warn those around me because once it starts it's anyone's guess what'll come next.  I say things backwards and start having dementia-like symptoms.  I can start stuttering, throw up or pass out, and I can do nothing but ride the wave and pray that it wears off quickly and won't be that bad.  What's really scary for me is that I'm forgetting blocks of time and not remembering where I am or what I did, or am doing, and I am having to deal with all of this while trying to care for my sick child.  

I do have to say that I am blessed with an incredible kid.  Dylan is so smart and is great about being on top of his diabetes, for the most part, which is the ultimate blessing, and he understands that Mom has a lot going on herself.  Yesterday we helped each other make it through and it looks like today is going to be another one of those days.  We were able to get his blood sugar down yesterday afternoon to 135 but last night before dinner he was back up to 300.  This morning he was 425.  He is already on such a high dose of insulin that I don't want to increase it and have started to document the foods he's eating and how those are affecting him.  We try to do high protein/low carb as much as possible but my boy is a tween, loves candy and soda, and is a food sneaker.  We normally do not keep candy in the house but Dylan received a reward in school on Monday and he got a little gift bag with candy in it.  

He finally admitted that he's been sneaking a piece here and there when I'm in the bathroom.  He gets tired of having to take insulin for every bite that goes into his mouth.  I get it, it's hard, especially with an older brother that can eat whatever he wants, but I continue to stress the importance of taking insulin for everything.  I want my baby around for a LONG time.

So, here we sit, both of us sipping water, watching Phineas & Ferb, and me admiring just how strong my little man is.  I'm praying that I have no more episodes today.  I am SO over feeling like this but I know deep down this is only the beginning.  My stuttering has been better these past few days, which is good, so Dylan and me talk a little about school, and life, and he admits to me that he "sometimes hates that he has diabetes."  "I know baby," I reply, as I pull him closer to me, "Mommy hates it too.  It's just another thing that makes you special.  Just take it one day at a time."

Now to remind myself to take my own advice. ;) 

Thinking of You with Sympathy

I woke up Monday morning all ready to tell you guys about my continued struggles with my #lifewithtumors and #lifewithteenagers.  I'm enjoying giving you a glimpse into my crazy, messy life.  It's therapeutic and for the first time in forever I look forward to Monday's!

If you live in the Texas you know how the weather can change on a dime.  It'll be sunshine, not a cloud in the sky, and out of the blue dark threatening clouds roll in, there's a tornado warning, and you're running to your safe place, body shivering in anticipation because you don't know what power this storm is going to bring with it.  Well, life has those kinds of storms that come out of the blue too that leave you shaken to your core.

The morning started off normal enough.  Literally dragging Eric out of bed while arguing that school and food are necessities and, "If you're that tired you need to start going to bed earlier!"  That kid is a sloth.  He goes SO slow at everything!  It drives me nuts!  It also doesn't help that he's a total night owl like his mama and fights going to bed until at least 11pm every night.  I fight that kid coming and going.

Dylan, for the most part, is pretty easy to get up but I have to go through the checklist every morning and make sure he has done everything.  Otherwise he goes to school with no deodorant on, no teeth brushed, and dirty clothes/socks on.  Boys, am I right?  I also found out last week from the school nurse that he is either not been insulating or insulating incorrectly for breakfast because his lunch numbers have been incredibly high so now it's back to Mom supervising (for those that do not know my youngest is type 1 diabetic).

 Everything was going "smoothly" until I got a text from my cousin to check Facebook.    Late Sunday night my aunt had posted that her 36-year-old brother had been found unresponsive and that they were taking him to the hospital.  I read through the feed and saw the words that stopped me cold, "He's gone."  NO!!  A million thoughts started racing through my mind.  He has two young boys!  He's only 36!  That's my age!  This can't be real!  But it was.  Unbeknownst to me, he was addicted to pain medications and had overdosed.  We don't know if this was intentional or accidental but it is still heartbreaking nontheless.

I have know this man since we were thirteen years old, when his older sister married my uncle.  We've grown up together!  We weren't super close as time has passed, but that happens when you get married, have kids, and life just gets busy.  We just saw him not too long ago and he seemed fine.  It just goes to show that you never really know what is going on in someone's life.  I'm going to miss his smile and his laugh.  He had one of those laughs that were contagious and his smile could light up a room.  I can't believe I'll never get to see it again.

In times like these you want to say something, anything, to take that pain away, even though you know you can't.  There are no words.  So, you find other ways to show that you care.

Despite being sick all week with what I can only hope is just a cold, I sat down at my desk and I did something I haven't done in awhile.  I made a card.

When I first sat down I was clueless as to what I wanted to make.  I haven't made a sympathy card in so long! When I was going through my stamps I realized I don't even have a sympathy stamp!  But I figured "thinking of you" is just as good.

I went to Splitcoaststampers for some inspiration and thought this week's color challenge was perfect!  I normally have issues with color challenges but once I got my concept it just gelled. 

My Verve Stamps haven't gotten some love in a long time and it felt so good to ink them up!  Sadly, all of the stamp sets that I used on my card are retired but if you go on Verve's website, Julee has some amazing sets that are all on sale right now!

I stamped this gorgeous background stamp from the Grateful Elegance set in Garden Green ink, the sweet little butterfly is from the Die Sidekicks set and is stamped in Sweet Sugarplum ink, and the sentiment, stamped in Rich Razzleberry ink, is from the Accent Notes set.  I cut out the hearts using my Big Shot and the Sweet & Sassy Framelit Dies using Rich Razzleberry and Sweet Sugarplum cardstock and popped them up on Stampin' Dimensionals.

I had a few Swarovski crystals so I put one on the butterfly and two on the heart.  This is a clean and simple card and I wanted some sweet little sparkle.

For me, it was therapeutic to stamp.  I prayed the entire time and got up from my desk feeling more at peace.  I cannot imagine what my aunt is going through right now but I hope and pray that this gives her some peace.  I hope that she knows that she is not alone in her sorrow's and that her little brother will be missed.

Rest in peace my friend.

Valentine Depression

This past week has been rough.  With the news I received last Monday hitting me like it did it's been hard to fight the depression that was already creeping up inside me.  Since I've been sick I've tried to be strong but this blow was so hard that I feel like all of my strength is gone.  I don't want to fight anymore.

Louie is not a Valentine's guy.  He doesn't feel like you have to have a holiday to show someone that you love them, so normally on February 14th I do not get my hopes up.  This year he surprised me with two things that are so cliche but so thoughtful.

 I can't tell you the last time I was given a box of chocolates!  It was so sweet of my husband AND so delicious!  What girl doesn't love chocolates??

Louie gave me the chocolates a few days before Valentine's Day so on Valentine's Day I expected nothing.  He had came home late from work and I had just gotten out of the shower after having another emotional workout session.  I walk into our bedroom and sitting on my dresser is this sweet little surprise.

Fun fact: orchids are my favorite flower BUT I've never had a real one before.  Why?  I kill plants

I love them but I kill them.  My fingers are crossed that I can keep this gorgeous plant alive for as long as possible.  It makes me happy to look at it.

This year is the first year I didn't get the boys anything for Valentine's Day but they were both ok with that.  I am so thankful that they've been so understanding about Mom not being able to be herself right now.  I also think they enjoyed helping me eat my chocolates, which I happily shared.  They will forever be my Valentine's, regardless if I purchase them anything.

Battling the depression that I'm feeling is a daily fight.  I have started to "emotionally work out" almost daily.  I have my treadmill and elliptical and I get on one of them when I start feeling overwhelmed by everything, if I feel up to it.  I will walk/stride, lip sync to whatever song is currently on my Spotify playlist, and cry.  It's a sad sight but luckily it's just me so who cares, and if Louie or one of the boys happen to come in they ask no questions.  They're smart like that. ;)   I usually stop when my vertigo or nausea hits or if I feel like I've hit my limit.  I'm not doing it for any other reason than to just get what I'm feeling out but I'm hoping this will help me lose some weight in the process.  I hate that all of this is bothering me like it is.  I keep telling myself, "Get over it already Christi!" but it still hurts.  

Louie took me out to dinner Saturday night since I haven't been out of the house since my doctor's appointment last Monday.  I was hurting the entire time but it felt so good to get out.  We sat at the bar while we waited for our table and as I'm watching the Olympics on the TV near us I just burst into tears.  I did the same thing because of a song that came on the radio on our way home.  Sometimes I hate how sensitive I am.  I actually get mad that I cry like I do.  I do have to say that I did feel better when we got home, at least emotionally.

I'm trying to get myself busy with other things, like my stamping.  I posted a non-traditional Valentine's Day card on my Stampin' Up! blog last week and plan on getting in my craft room later this afternoon.  

I've felt creatively blocked for months and I feel the only way I'm going to break this is just to get in there and do something.  I've also been trying to pray but it's hard.  There are no words for some reason but I've heard that "prayer without words is the best." - C.S. Lewis

I pray for a better week this week.  Eric has been acting better and I hope this slightly more positive attitude continues.  I think him and Dylan both understand that Mom can't handle much more.


Today's been a rough day, but not for the reasons that you might expect.  I had another neurologist appointment this morning and I've been in tears off and on ever since.  I found out something that hit me so hard that I'm speechless which, if you know me, is very hard to do.

I was put on three more medications, one for sleep and two that are prescribed for epileptic patients but should hopefully help with my migraines and the stroke-like symptoms that I am experiencing.  The doctor didn't want to talk about my tumors until Louie finally brought it up.  He told us that he wasn't concerned with them because he is positive my symptoms all stem from my atypicalacute, and hemiplegic migraines.

Then he said the sentence that rendered me speechless...

"If you were experiencing issues with your tumors you would have pain here," and he put his hand on his lower abdomen on his right side.  Louie and me immediately locked eyes and Louie said, "Doctor, Christi has had a pain in that exact spot for seven years.  That pain is the reason why she had all those surgeries (my gallbladder removed in 2012, a full hysterectomy in 2013, and an appendectomy in 2015).  Every doctor and specialist we've been to never could figure out why she continues to be in pain.  She still deals with that pain every day."  The look of concern crossed my doctor's face.  "I'm sure that pain is due to her tumors," he said.  Speechless.

He explained that where my tumors are located is very rare and out of his expertise.  He said that once we get my migraines under control then he will refer me to a spinal specialist who can give me my options and all of us can agree on what our next step will be.

As Louie and the doctor continued to talk I blanked out.  My whole body had went numb and tears stung my eyes.  A rush of memories from the past seven years invaded my mind, everything I've been through, the dreams that I gave up and for what?  For nothing?  All the emergency room visits and hospital stays, the surgeries that I now find out were unnecessary.  It all overwhelmed me but what really got me was the thought of my hysterectomy.  I wanted more children more than anything and had sacrificed my dream in hopes that having the surgery would heal me.  Now I'm finding out why it didn't work and truly realizing what I gave up for nothing.  Louie and me could've had a baby.  Tears stream down my face as I type that.  It still hurts so bad.  It took me years to mourn the loss of not having another child, and I just recently felt like I had moved past it, then it hits me in the face yet again.  Will I ever escape the heartache?

I managed to make it to the car and then I lost it.  I cried for my lost dreams, for what could have been, and for what's to come.  I cried in frustration at what I have been through and wondered how much more I can take.  I'm not strong enough to handle all of this!!  I thought about what my family has went through and how I've been sick my entire marriage.  All the events I've missed in my boys lives because I've been too sick to get out of bed.  I'm missing what's left of their childhood!  It's not fair!!  The only solace I can take away from this appointment is that I finally know where my pain comes from.  I can say that I am not crazy and that this pain is not in my head.  It's all because of the tumors.

I did go to work today for a few hours for the first time since my hospitalization in November.  I was nervous that I would be overwhelmed but it felt so good to get back to some normalcy.  I still can't drive but luckily Louie dropped me off and my boss was sweet enough to drop me off at home this afternoon.  Everyone was so patient with me and I missed seeing everyone.  It wasn't until I was settled and at my desk, working on a report, trying to remember what to do that it hit me:  I'm never going to be the same again.  Today a switch was hit and my eyes have been opened.  It's going to take me awhile to process all of this and I am trying so hard to not do what I normally do: bottle it all up.

I talked to family and talking helped but I still sit here utterly heartbroken.  I didn't really want to write this post but I felt like I need to get it out of my head and onto paper, whether I feel like it or not.  I know that God has a plan and a reason for all of this but tonight my heart cries why.  I know it could be worse and I'm thankful for that.  I am a myriad of emotions.  I'm a mess.


I've decided I'm going to start writing a blog post every  Monday.  Not sure why I would pick Monday, because I normally hate Monday's (who doesn't!), but since I've been home with my illness it seems like the day I am the most thoughtful.  Maybe it's because the weekend has just passed and there's always a story to tell.  Or maybe it's the first time my house has been quiet in days! Haha!

Today one of my best friends turned 40 (shoutout to my girl Juanita!  Happy birthday sweetie!!!) and we celebrated her birthday on Saturday with a big party.  It was such an amazing time and I am so glad I was able to go.  I wasn't sure I was even going to be able to make it with what happened last week.

Last Tuesday night I had something happen that hasn't happened in my #lifewithtumors journey yet.  Louie, me, and the boys were playing around.  We will get into these fits of tickling and goofing off that tend to get rougher and tickling turns into pinching or worse.  Someone always ends up getting hurt during these little brawls and, being the only girl, it's usually me.  Before I continue let me just acknowledge that I know that I can't do things I used to do.  I'm trying to find a new normal and it's profoundly hard for me.  I want to be who I was three months ago.  Should I have been in this squabble?  No.  But I was feeling better than I had in days and I wanted to have a little fun with my family.  A little normal.  With the boys getting older I have to take these precious moments and squeeze them for all their worth.  Apparently, Louie felt the same way.

My husband hates to be pinched.  Let me repeat that just so you know just how bad he hates to be pinched: my husband HATES to be pinched.  I was pretending to pinch him and I guess I accidentally got him and he grabbed my wrist and squeezed to stop me from doing it again.  That's when it happened.  I guess he hit a nerve or something because my wrist started hurting excruciatingly bad.  The playing around ended and I started crying.  Louie thought I was just milking the bit but I knew instantly that something wasn't right.  Gradually this pain started going up my right arm, up through my neck, and then the bottom of my skull felt like it had exploded.  I sat on the couch and couldn't stop crying.  Louie was still upset but Eric came and sat next to me, he could tell that I wasn't playing around, and something serious had happened.  When he asked what was wrong I tried to tell him and I couldn't get it out.  I was stuttering so bad he could hardly understand me.

After some time had passed, and I'm now laying on the couch with tears streaming down my face, Louie finally recognized that something happened, and of course felt terrible.  My head and neck hurt so bad that I ended up "sleeping" on the couch that night, in the same position, and woke up still feeling the same, and still with the horrible stuttering.  I felt like I was under water, everything in slow motion.  I was saying things backwards and being even more forgetful that I had been previously.

I had company coming on Thursday and my house has not been the same since Mom has been down (think frat house and you'll get the gist of the condition of my house at the moment) so I spent the majority of Wednesday cleaning.  I'd been doing it in spurts so as to not completely wear myself out but I guess I pushed myself too hard because by Thursday I could barely talk and still had that underwater feeling.  My sister took off work to come see me and urged me to go to the emergency room since my neurologist would not call me back and we were pretty sure by this point that I could've had a stroke.  Louie rushed home and once again I was back in the hospital.

They had me in a room within fifteen minutes of our arrival and I had two doctors and five nurses in there all at once doing all kinds of tests, asking tons of questions, certain that I had had a stroke.  I could hardly speak, couldn't open my eyes, and had to have Louie be my voice.  It was scary. 

After two CT scans and an MRI, all without dye I might add, I was sent home with an "abnormal migraine" and again the "stroke-like symptoms" but I did not have a stroke.  Apparently migraines can do funny things but I've never, in the years I've had migraines, had this happen to me.  They didn't give me anything to help with the pain and didn't say anything about what I could do to help my speech.  To say we felt defeated would be an understatement.  I cried almost the whole way home.  I am so tired of all these doctors saying that it's my migraines when I know deep down it isn't.  I know there is something they're not finding.  And I'm sorry but I'm too young for this to be happening to me!

This is why I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to celebrate with my best friend on Saturday but I had told her I wouldn't miss her party for the world and I kept my promise.  I would post the picture I took of her but she would kill me, so I'll post the one I took with my handsome nephew instead.

Being surrounded by family and friends was just what this weary soul needed.  Even though I know I am not alone in this battle, there are those days where I do feel the loneliness wash over me.  I feel trapped, having to be home, and not being able to drive anywhere.  Louie has been working crazy long hours so most of the time it's just me, here alone with my thoughts, not able to do what I want to do and be where I want to be.  It's heartbreaking but at the same time I know that God has me here for a reason.  It's in these times that he whispers to me and tells me it's going to be ok, He's got this, and I know that He does.  It's just hard.

This morning I am talking better (praise the Lord!) but I am not feeling good at all.  My head is swimming, I'm dizzy and quite nauseated, and I am most likely going to sleep the day away.  I guess I stayed up too late last night celebrating the fact that the Patriots got defeated in the Super Bowl!!

I'm not an Eagles fan by any means, as I am a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, but anyone that can beat the New England Patriots is aces in my book!  The Patriots are my most hated team.  I missed the first half, and the halftime show, but I watched JT tear up that halftime show on YouTube.  He's gotten a lot of flack for his performance but I thought he did great!  It wasn't just a light show!  He actually performed!  I am a little bias though since he is one of my loves.  I watched the whole performance (trying to) sing along to all the songs.  I love that he started out with one of his new songs and payed tribute to Prince, who was born in Minneapolis.

So, that's my Monday Musing for you!  And Juanita, I have something I want you to remember on your birthday:
"You don't get older, you get better" 
-Shirley Bassey

Random Ramblings

Eric (my oldest) will be thirteen at the end of March, but if you were to put your ear up to our front door recently you would think that some selfish, uncaring yelling beast were inside.  What hurts is that this transformation practically happened overnight.  I went into the hospital in November with two sweet little boys and now that I am up and around more, and more aware of my surroundings, I see things so much clearer, and one thing I see is that I have lost one of my sweet, innocent little boys.

I hate it.  I hate it SO much!!!

Everyone keeps asking me how I'm doing.  How do I answer?  I'm not good at all.  Right now, my biggest issue with this illness is all the life that I feel like I am missing.  I lose days due to being in bed, curled up into a ball, crying and praying that the pain will stop.  Then there are days like today where I can tolerate the pain better but I still can't fully function.  It's frustrating when your mind is screaming at you to do something but your body won't cooperate.  I try to focus on the positive, but there are times that I can't focus on anything and instead just wallow in my sorrows.

I had a total meltdown yesterday afternoon.  I cried in the shower for almost 30 minutes, just sitting there letting the water wash over me, praying for God's grace to rescue me from this darkness that envelops me.  I don't know how how I'm ever going to make it through!

The men in my house don't understand what I'm going through emotionally.  They don't understand the tears or the sudden tantrums.  They want to fix it but there's nothing to fix.  It is what it is and there's nothing any of us can do about it.  We all just have to ride the waves and enjoy the good days and press on through the bad ones.  With a combination of Eric and me, and what we're both going through right now, I am seeing more bad days than good.  Having a teenager in the house is bad enough but then you add a sick and emotionally distraught mom, a diabetic preteen, and a husband who can't fix any of it and you've got a recipe for disaster.

On the days that I can handle it, I get lost in a book.  Thank you Jesus for good books!

Books have been my escape my entire life and today is no different than when I was a little girl.  A good book soothes my soul and, after the book I have just finished, reminds me that life could be a lot worse!

Keeping up with my book reviews has been what has kept me sane lately though I am learning to adjust how I read.  I don't comprehend things the way I used to and so on my bad days, if I feel up to reading, I have to take notes.  Otherwise, I truly can't remember what I read.  It's so frustrating and I can't read as quickly as I used to, but I am still thankful that I have the eyes to see the words on the page.  Not everyone has that choice.  My doctor says it's important to keep my brain active and so I fight the frustration and continue to read and write.

I also can't lose weight.  No matter what I do I can't lose and am actually gaining.  I've hit 225lbs.  It's the highest I've ever been in my life.  I am so ashamed.  I don't want anyone to see me like this!  At my next appointment I think I'm going to have them test my thyroid.  I've been watching my portions and what I'm eating, been up and mobile more than I have in months, and I'm steadily gaining.  It's hard not to beat myself up.  I feel ugly and gross.  I feel trapped in a body that I can't stand.  It's yet another thing I feel like I have absolutely no control over.

Right now, every aspect of my life is hard.  I don't write this to get sympathy but to let everyone know where I'm at right now.  I told myself I would be real and honest in this journey and I intend to stick by my words.  The photo above was taken a few weeks ago when we were on our way to see some friends.  I was actually trying to smile and no matter how many pictures I took I kept getting the same face.  I try to hide how I'm feeling the majority of the time but the eyes don't lie.  I wear my emotions on my face and I hate that.  I'd rather hide.

As far as videos, I have made a few but I am embarrassed to post them.  Watching myself makes me cringe!  Louie told me to get over it and post them but right now I just can't.  Maybe one day I will but right now I'm too raw.  It's too hard.

My next neurologist appointment is February 12th and I actually get to see the neurologist himself for the first time since my hospital stay.  He's had his own family issues and has been out of the office so I've been seeing the nurse practitioner up until now.  Hopefully we can get a game plan and I'll have more to report then.

Sorry for all the random rambling today!  I'd originally wanted to vent about me having a bratty teenager and then everything else just came out.  It feels good to write and get everything out there.

I only have one thing to ask today: please pray for my sanity.


Every year since 2016 I have had a word.  A word that I hold onto throughout the year.  A word that I prayerfully consider before choosing.  A word that I can meditate on throughout the year.  2016 my word was STRONG and strong was what I had to be to deal with everything I had to deal with that year.  For 2017, my word was FOCUS.  This word echoed in my mind every time my mind would wander to to all of the possibilities of my future these past few months.  It whispered to me many times, reminding me to live in the moment, when all I wanted to do was bury my head under the covers and get lost in my own self-pity.  

Normally when the clock strikes midnight, and another year has begun, I have my word already chosen.  When I woke up this morning I still did not know what my word was.  That is, until I came across this beautiful quote by Whitney Daugherty. (Photo Credit: String of Pearls)

For 2018 I am going to focus on TRUTH.  

Despite being a pretty positive person, I give into fear far too often.  I let my overactive imagination get the best of me, and put my focus on what's in my head, and not necessarily what is true.  Being pretty much immobile, my imagination has been running wild, and leading to anxiety attacks.  With everything that is going on with me, the last thing I need right now is to add another dimension to my illness, especially if this dimension is one that I have complete control over.  So, 

I am going to choose to focus on truth

The truth of knowing that God's got my back and Jesus is always by my side.  The truth of God's Word.

Photo Credit: Girl Got Faith

The truth that I am not alone in my battles.  I have so many family and friends that love me and are praying for me.  I must remember this when I am sitting here in pain and feeling alone.  It's so easy to feel forgotten, even when I know that's not true.  I have to hold onto TRUTH and not let my mind and emotions get the best of me.

Before I sign off, I wanted to say thank you SO much to everyone that has reached out to me since reading my last post of 2017.  It has encouraged me more than anyone knows.  I want you all to know how grateful I am for your prayers and support.  Please keep them coming!

Do do you have a word or a goal for 2018?  If so, comment below!  I'd love to know what's motivating you this new year and support you on your journey like you are supporting me. :) 
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