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My Birthday & Mother's Day 2018

For those that do not know, I am a Mother's Day baby.  My birthday was last Thursday and I was lucky enough to get to spend it with several of my close family members and completely pig out on chips and salsa and my birthday sopaipillas (if you were there THANK YOU!!  It meant more to me than you'll ever know).

That was pretty much the extent of the birthday festivities.  I didn't even get to really see my husband.  I spent most of the evening crying (after my early birthday dinner) and trying to respond to people on Facebook.   Gotta love turning 37.  I've never felt so old. Haha!!

One thing I am thankful for is that my birthday was one of my good days.  The majority of April was a major struggle for me which is why you did not see me on here.  I just needed a break from everything.  I couldn't face the internet, especially social media.  The physical pain co-mingling with the mental anguish I was daily struggling with was all too much for me.  There were many things that contributed to my bout with depression and I am still not completely out of the 'darkness' but I am better than I was.  I hate struggling with depression so much.  I feel like I have lost so much of my life to depression and it makes me so angry but there are days I just do not know how to fight it.  All I can do is pray and try to put my focus where it needs to be and ride the wave.

As far as my pain, not much has changed.  My migraines are starting to become a little less frequent (like only once a week instead of every few days) but I still have the severe headaches pretty much daily and now I am battling severe seasonal allergies.  I am meeting with my neurologist once a month and each month there is one or two changes for me.  I am on about 12 medications or supplements, which makes my head spin sometimes, but I am glad that I am starting to feel a bit better.

Mother's Day was another low-key day for me and my family.  It started with a wonderful church service and afterwards I was able to get to take a Mother's Day pictures with my boys.  What's crazy is last year Eric was shorter than me and look at this kid this year!  He's already at least two inches taller than me.  Crazy!!

After church we had lunch with my cousin and her family and then over to a friend's house to visit.  I haven't seen this friend in years so it was good to just chill and visit.

The rest of the afternoon was running a few errands and enjoying the gorgeous afternoon.  There were no presents except for Eric getting me this beautiful candle and some candy which I thought was incredibly sweet.  It's the first time he's ever bought me a Mother's Day present with his own money so it was a big deal for me.  #proudmommymoment

This year I am happy to report that I was able to make my own mom a Mother's Day card.  She has always been a beach bunny, and the April 2018 Paper Pumpkin kit was made just for her, so I pulled out my kit and decided to make a Paper Pumpkin alternative.

I am in LOVE with how it turned out!!  The colors in this kit, Calypso Coral and Pool Party, are amazing and paired with this month's Viva la Verve sketch it turned out so great!!  I started with a white card base and also added another white panel that I added the Sweet Shop designer series paper (which just happened to match this kit perfectly) to. 

Everything else on the card, with the exception of the (retired) Bermuda Bay shimmer ribbon,  or the Stitched Framelit Die that I used to cut to the main circle, comes from the April Paper Pumpkin kit.

I do have to admit that I went a little crazy with the dimensionals on this card but I think that's part of what gives this card so much charm!

I love this sketch so much that I already have ideas for another card so don't be surprised if you see more from me.  It felt good to get in there and get inky again!  That's one thing I love about our Paper Pumpkin kits.  I will want to stamp but have no idea where to begin and then I open one of my kits and viola: inspiration! 

Thank you again to everyone that made my birthday special and I hope all you moms out there had a Happy Mother's Day!!  I promise I will not be a stranger! 

Retired: Sweet Shop Designer Series Paper (SU), Pool Party 1/8" Bermuda Bay Ribbon (SU)

My "New Normal"

I think I am finally coming to terms with my "new normal."  When I make this statement my mind screams at me.  Settling for a new normal admits defeat in my mind, and to be honest with you I am not ready to let go of my old life, even though I know I can never have it back.  I know I will live with these tumors and this horrible pain for the rest of my life but I don't want to acknowledge it.  I wish I could do something to take them away but I can't.  All I can do is try to live my life to the best of my ability and pray for a miracle.  Of course this mindset depends on the day too as the rollercoaster of emotions continues.  Some days I am accepting of this lot in life and other days I question it all.  Some days I am compliant, putting one foot in front of the other, and other days I am throwing a tantrum, kicking and screaming like a toddler who's had their toy taken away.

Viva la Birthday

I must say that both my boys have been such an inspiration to me this week.  I have started a challenge to help me lose weight and Eric has been an awesome motivator.  I am listening to my body and cannot do even an quarter of what the other women are but this round I am focusing more on what I'm eating and my mindset anyway.  Plus I figure any extra movement I'm doing is better than the nothing I've been doing and I'm getting time with my son, so it's a win-win.

Dylan has been my creative inspiration and I am happy to report that I actually have a card to show off!  He wanted to make a card for his cousin for his 12th birthday but then inspiration struck and Mom took over.

Easter Joy

I love Easter.  Being a Christian, there is the obvious reason of my Lord and Savior dying on the cross for my sins (the eternal hope: something I will never be able to be thankful enough for) but there is also the Easter egg hunts and family time.

With the boys being older, and me sharing them with their dad, Easter isn't what it used to be.  I think Dylan picked up on my sadness because he begged me Friday afternoon to help him stamp his first card.  Since I had new Verve Stamps to play with, and I have been in dire need of mojo lately, I thought it would be perfect.  Mother/son bonding and stamping while talking about what Easter is truly about is exactly what I needed.

A Birthday and a Reunion

This past Sunday was a pretty special day.  Eric turned 13.  I have a teenager.  No matter how many times I say it I still cannot believe it.  I don't feel old enough to have a teenager!

Both of Us

August 1st will be two years since Dylan was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  Since Dylan's diagnosis we have adjusted and settled into our comfortable routines, and the fact that Dylan is diabetic is just another element that makes our family unique.  Checking blood sugar and giving insulin is a family habit, like brushing our teeth.  What's crazy is when I go out to eat anywhere without Dylan I am instantly reaching for my phone to check carbs on MyFitnessPal and I always seem to check my watch at 8:58pm no matter where I'm at and what I'm doing (9pm is when Dylan takes his long-acting insulin every night).  These are habits I don't think I'll ever break.

At our last three month check up Dylan's pediatric endocrinologist warned us that Dylan's blood sugar was going to be inconsistent since he is entering puberty.  So, I have been trying to more closely monitor his blood sugar and adjust accordingly.  I brace myself when he tells me his reading, wondering if we're going to be fighting to bring the number up or down.  Dylan's target blood sugar is between 80-150.  Lately he's been dipping down below 60 and some days can go as a high as 400 and it varies from meal to meal, up and down like a diabetic rollercoaster.

Thinking of You with Sympathy

I woke up Monday morning all ready to tell you guys about my continued struggles with my #lifewithtumors and #lifewithteenagers.  I'm enjoying giving you a glimpse into my crazy, messy life.  It's therapeutic and for the first time in forever I look forward to Monday's!

If you live in the Texas you know how the weather can change on a dime.  It'll be sunshine, not a cloud in the sky, and out of the blue dark threatening clouds roll in, there's a tornado warning, and you're running to your safe place, body shivering in anticipation because you don't know what power this storm is going to bring with it.  Well, life has those kinds of storms that come out of the blue too that leave you shaken to your core.

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