If I Told You My Story...

I was always the girl that wanted to do life on her own terms.  Anything anyone ever told me I usually did the opposite.  I've never liked being told what to do.  The one time I should've listened to everyone I didn't.  I ended up on a long, painful journey that almost destroyed me and put me into one of the darkest times of my life.

Prior to 2010, I was a completely different person leading a completely different life.  Maybe one day I will tell my beginning and maybe not.  The past is what it is: in the past and I for one would like to leave it there.  Some of my past is wonderful and I'm sure as time passes I will revisit those tidbits but a lot of it is very painful and there are many things I wish I could forget.

There are two significant milestones prior to 2010 that are worth noting that happened in March 2005 and July 2006.  These months are when God blessed me with my two little miracles, E and DJ.

What is significant is I was always told that I couldn't have children.  From an early age,  I have struggled with "women issues" and was told early on that if I did want to conceive that it would most likely be a painful process.  To spare myself the heartache, I told everyone that I didn't want kids when deep down inside that's all I wanted.  I always wanted to be a mom.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for these two little miracles.  Motherhood is by far the hardest challenge I've ever had to endure but I wouldn't trade my boys for anything in the world.

Love has also been something that has been a lifelong struggle for me.  By 2010 I had convinced myself that I did not know how to love and would never find someone to share my life with.  I settled into the life of a single mother and had no idea that I was about to meet my soulmate.

In October 2010 while sitting on a friends couch a man walked through the door and into my life.  I didn't know it at the time but I had just met the man I was going to marry.  We quickly became best friends and I found myself falling in love when that was the last thing that I wanted.  I didn't know how to love and I refused to break another heart so for months I fought my feelings.

In April 2011 I finally admitted to my best friend that I loved him and he said that he felt the same way.  I couldn't believe it!  It was so easy!  It wasn't something that was planned.  It wasn't something I tried to force.  It just happened!  It was perfect and it was all God's doing.

Two years later on April 20, 2013, I married my soulmate, my best friend, the man who makes me want to be a better woman.  My L.

Since L came into my life he has given me a passion for believing that with faith and God all things are possible.  He has helped me realize how wrong my thoughts have been up to this point and all the lies I had believed.  He has helped me realize that I have never truly found who I am.  I've always been one of those people pleasers who put aside their own thoughts and passions to make others happy and somewhere along the way I lost who I was.

I started this blog to document my journey to finding who Christi really is.  I want to go deeper in my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  I want to be a better wife and mother.  I want to lose weight for good and maybe even find my way in the fitness/nutrition world.  I want to find my passions whatever they may be.  Who knows where this crazy road will take me!

All I know right now is I am glad you're here with me for the ride. :)  Before I did everything my way and I failed miserably.  This time I am doing it all God's way and it is only by grace that I am here.