Answers

Answers are hard.  You hope to hear those words that you've been longing for but that's not always the case.  Sometimes the answer is your worst fears come true.  Until you know you have to brace yourself for whatever the outcome.  At this point on my journey I just wanted to know the answer.  This past week I finally got it.

I had to endure two more MRI's to get my answer.  I hate MRI's.  It's not just the fact that the sound always gives me an excruciating migraine but I am also incredibly claustrophobic.  I mean, who really likes MRI's?  But it's a necessary evil to rule out the possibilities.  Each time was scary but my sister held my hand every time I was there waiting.  She has been my rock through this journey and I don't think I could've made it without her.

I also have had to see numerous physicians and visit several hospitals.  I hate hospitals.  I know there is good in hospitals but they're so sterile and even though many lives begin there many lives end there as well.  Hospitals are a haunting place to me and bring back both good and bad memories.  But again, I did what I had to do to get my answer.

My spine specialist is a direct and to the point man.  The few times I've seen him he's been in and out of my room within a minute.  I get it.  I waited for almost an hour to see him this past week and he was in and out of my room within 30 seconds.  But in those 30 seconds he finally gave me my answer:
I do not have tumors

What I do have are numerous cysts up and down my spine and a slipped disk in my lower spine.

Since the cysts are not pressing on any nerves the doctor did not recommend surgery at this time.  If they ever start pressing on any nerves then surgery could be a possibility.  This was a major relief to me since the idea of surgery was incredibly scary.

He also told me to continue to go to my pain management doctor for further treatment to deal with the pain that the cysts and slipped disk are causing me and my neurologist to hopefully get my migraines under control.

My pain management doctor recommended I do steroid-like injections instead of other habit forming options, like pain pills.  He said most of his patients have 100% relief once the stiffness wears off and the injections can last at least a year, if not longer.  The procedure is minimally evasive though I will be sedated but I should be good to go within a few days.

So, today I celebrate.  My #lifewithtumors is no longer my hashtag.  I can now hastag #victory and #prayersanswered :)


Thank you to everyone who has been by me through this journey.  I know that it is still not over but now we know what is wrong with me and it's easily treatable.  I will most likely always have cysts, and will have to deal with them and keep a close eye on them, but I'm ok with that.

Now I can focus on pain management, losing weight, and finally getting my life back.  I'm tired of being sick.  I'm tired of missing out.  Today, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm getting my life back.  I'm so ready to be Christi again.
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