Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day used to be my favorite holiday.  I loved romance!  I loved the sappy romance movies and books and dreamed from the time I was a little girl about that unattainable Prince Charming one day riding on his white horse, sweeping me off my feet.  Little did I know that this sweet dream would take me on one heartbreaking journey.

I have never been a patient person when it comes to love.  I remember having the biggest crush on Jose who lived across the street from us when I was growing up.  He was a few years older than me but that didn't stop me from chasing him around our backyard trying to tackle him to get my first kiss at six years old.  I never did get the kiss but that didn't stop me from sitting at our front window for hours watching him play basketball and dreaming about the day we would get married and what our children would look like.

I always had a crush on one guy or another.  I think I came out of the womb being boy crazy.  My mom says its because the doctor that delivered me was cute.  Haha!  Being boy crazy and being a daydreamer set my expectations at a very high level so when I got my first real boyfriend I tried to make him and the many other guys after him the man of my dreams.  Of course this would always lead to frustration and disappointment and when the next guy would come along the cycle would start all over again.

Every boyfriend knew I was a hopeless romantic and many of them really did try to make my dreams come true but they all fell short in one way or another.  After a time I realized there was not a man out there that was going to be the entire package so I finally let that dream go.  I boycotted all things romantic and decided that the 4th of July was my new favorite holiday.  Who needs romance?

Then I met Louie.

I bet you're thinking that he swept me off my feet right?  Well, he did but not in any way I ever dreamed.  I always thought I wanted romance but it turns out all I really wanted was someone to let me be me.  I wanted someone to listen to me and someone who would make me feel safe and secure.  I wanted to feel special and Louie made me feel special.

Five years later he still makes me feel special.

Those dreams that I dreamed about finding my soulmate have came true.  I've met my match.  I love this man more today than the day that I met him and all the struggles that we have endured has only made us stronger.

What's funny about Louie is he is THE most UN-romantic man I've ever met.  Sounds about right doesn't it?  LOL  Opposites attract I guess though I do wish in the back of my mind that he would at least get me some chocolate.  Valentine's Day or not, chocolate is one of my love languages!

Oh and I'm not boy crazy anymore!  The only man I have eyes for is him and I am so thankful that boy crazy spell is finally broken.  I think that's how I truly know this love is legit.  Every relationship I've had I would still be checking other guys out or thoughts of other guys would cross my mind but when I started dating Louie it just stopped.  Hallelujah!

So that's the crazy short version of how my favorite holiday went from Valentine's Day to 4th of July.  LOL  I hope you enjoyed it now go enjoy your LOVES while I go enjoy mine. :)

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The Pain Is Real

I think I'm allergic to 2016.

Here are the facts: I ringed in the New Year with the flu and once I got over that did the 24 Day Challenge and felt great but a few days later I get that first sharp, familiar pain and now I am on day 7 of having one of the worst migraines I think I've ever had.

Nothing is helping!  I tried some samples of a powder that treats migraines that my doctor had given me awhile back but they barely takes the edge off.  I've been taking all the OTC meds I can for both migraine (which never help) and for allergies (thinking that might be the trigger) and trying to drink all the water I can stomach.  I've been in bed literally since last Thursday.  It's horrible.

I've missed meetings, birthday parties, and church so far.  Last night we had our Connect Group over so I had to clean the house as best as I could.  Thank goodness it wasn't too awful but still it was a major challenge.  I went to bed last night exhausted, in pain, and clenching my jaw and woke up again to pain.

I have found a lot of migraine support on Instagram and one of my friends on there has had a migraine the past 4 weeks!  I am praying I can beat it sooner than that...and praying for my friend.  Poor thing!

At least I don't have to suffer alone.  My sweet Reagan has been by my side the whole time...

I constantly live with a headache.  There is not a day that goes by that my head doesn't hurt.  I've had too many concussions and whiplashes apparently so headaches are apart of who I am.  I can deal with a headache.  A migraine is not just a headache...it's so much worse.  Along with stabbing pains in my temples (especially my left side) I also have horrible dizziness, brain fog, memory lapses, flashes of light, and waves of severe nausea.  It's awful.

I've been out of work all week but I can't miss anymore so I am going in today.  Thank goodness I work for a company that is sympathetic but I have missed so much work being sick this year that it scares me.  I don't think I would get fired but then again you never know.  Wish me luck!

To all my fellow migraine sufferers: my prayers are with you!

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24 Day Challenge Results

I did not set my goals too high when I started the 24 Day Challenge.  I was just getting over the flu, had zero energy, and figured any loss is better than nothing.  Yesterday was the last day so this morning I did all the final measurements and I am SHOCKED!

I was really hoping to be out of the 190's by the end of the challenge and sadly it looks like I've gained instead of lost.  I am really hoping its just water weight or muscle.  Obviously that's not the number I'm most excited about.

I've lost 8 inches!!!!

I can't believe it!  Truth be told this was just taking the products.  Sadly I only worked out once but man can you imagine if I had worked out more?!

One thing I've been very consistent on is tracking my food and drinking my water.  I'm pretty much at a gallon of water a day and what's crazy is some days I feel like more!  I actually crave it now.  MyFitnessPal has become a daily ritual and even though I haven't tracked much these last few days I do plan on continuing until I lose more weight.  It's so eye-opening to see just how many calories are in that Oreo.  Sure it doesn't stop me from eating that Oreo but I'll have two or three instead of eight or nine unless its just one of those days.  I know y'all feel me...

I haven't had a chance to take an after picture so here's a "before" and "mid" picture.  The "mid" picture I took two weeks ago.  Forgive the hair/towel and the phone face.  I was getting ready for work and decided I needed some photos to see my progress thus the wet hair and towel and I figured my phone was better than looking at a makeup-less Christi. Haha!!

So what's next?  Begging my husband to let me continue on the product! LOL  My in-laws are the ones that purchased the 24 Day Challenge for me and now I'm hooked!

The products are really not that expensive when you compare it to other high quality supplements but when you have a limited budget everything is expensive so he promised me we would talk about it this weekend when we can sit down and crunch the numbers.  Deal.

I am just going to continue doing what I'm doing, pray about it, put it in the Lord's hands, and do a happy dance that I started 2016 STRONG and 8 inches lighter!!

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Leave the Past in the Past

The whole month of January my church did a series called IF based on the book If by Mark Batterson.  My pastor is amazing with starting the year off with a powerful series and this one has been no exception.  

I bought the book last Sunday, right when the series ended, and haven't put it down all week.  I am normally a speed reader and could have devoured this book easily in a day but I am choosing to take each chapter and really ponder the words and listen to what God is trying to say to me.  So far it has not disappointed and has me viewing so many things in my life from a different perspective.

Yesterday I began chapter three which is talking about past regrets and labels that are put on you by yourself or others.  Your own "scarlet letter" so to speak.  To be quite honest, I feel like the majority of the alphabet is on my shoulders.  

I have an A for adultery.  I have a D for divorce.  I have an L for liar.  I could go on but you get the picture.  I am imperfect.  

I get that no one is perfect but my struggle with perfectionism goes back as far as I can remember and every mistake that I've made in my life has pinned me against myself.  I have felt like if I am not perfect that I should just give up completely.  All or nothing.  I have seen myself and my world through my imperfect eyes alone and have never really stopped to think about how God's perfect eyes see me.  

I still have those "scarlet letters" on my shoulders but the A no longer stands for "adulterer" but for ADORED.  My F stands for FORGIVEN and my L no longer stands for liar but LOVED.  

Satan wants me to be a slave to my past forever but through Christ I don't have to be!  I am redeemed and it is the most freeing statement my ears have ever heard.  Granted it is easier to say I am redeemed than it is to live that way am I right?

My thoughts go to the Israelites that wandered in the wilderness for 40 years after their exodus from Egypt.  I've always wondered: Why did they not go straight to the Promised Land?  Why did they roam the same wilderness for 40 years?  They had to work out those hundreds of years of slavery out of their system.  They had to get past their past and it took them 40 years to do it.

My hope and prayer is that it doesn't take me 40 years to let go of my past mistakes and "if only regrets".  I am tired of letting my bad choices and the bad choices of others define who I am.  I am tired of believing the lies and playing the victim.  I am ready to live the life Christ died for!  I will no longer be defined by what I've done but what Christ has done for me!  I am free!

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