Lean Not On My Own Understanding

I fight depression almost on a daily basis.  Being a Christian I hate admitting it but just like I was telling my own boys earlier, "All have sinned and fallen short..." (Romans 3:23) and boy do I fall short.

I've tried to write this blog several times and I'm not sure how to even put it all into words.  I have so many good things in my life and then there are huge struggles that me and my family are fighting but my biggest struggle is actually within myself.  I am coming to realize that I am my biggest problem.  I am a self sabotager.  I think this could be my biggest reason for struggling with depression and the reason why I start so many things strong but either finish weak or never finish at all.

Trust is a big issue with me.  I can't trust myself.  I have relied on my own understanding for so long and look where it's gotten me.  I feel depressed and hopeless.  I've believed so many lies lately and it's killing me.  I must go back to God's Word and replace those lies with His truth.  

I was made more than what I'm living right now.  I need to stop procrastinating.  I must stop letting fear keep me from living the life I know I was meant to live.  I need to get out of my head and just do!

I've been in my head.  I've always been the thinker.  Well no more!  I'm going to get up and DO.  It doesn't matter if I feel like it or not.  It doesn't matter if I'm scared.  I have a faith and a God that transcends fear and I know when I DO no matter what He is there for me.

Sorry if none of this makes any sense.  I've been sick the past few days and too much into my head.  I was hoping putting my scattered thoughts down would help and in some ways it has.